Speak words of life

I have been struggling with my eating in recent months. I was up 4 pounds when I went to the doctor (from approximately 3 months prior). I believe I'm up another 6 or more since then. I have been indulging in desserts way too often. I've been eating bread and other carbs in excess. I haven't been eating enough veggies. The problem is not that I don't know how to eat properly. The problem is that I've been making wrong choices. Why? I have been at this point so many times. I've gotten a good start and lost some weight. But I'm struggling and beginning to go in the wrong direction. Being able to return to the right choices and stop the climbing weight is essential if I'm to be successful in losing my unhealthy excess weight.

I am not certain where or why I got off track. I am certain that I have to get back into control. One thing that is good is that this has to be a life long process - and when I get control and turn it back around, it will be a good example for the many times to come when I will have to do the same thing. It is not realistic to think that I will always eat 100% healthy and never induldge in desserts. I have to find balance and moderation. I have to be able to make mistakes and continue on without giving up in disgust and despair.

In recent episodes of Joyce Meyer's Enjoying Everday Life, the teaching has been on the power of words and speaking life rather than death...confessing scripture and God's promises for blessing in our life. I am going to make a real effort to begin doing that about areas of need in my life - including a healthy body. I am going to stop the negative talk ("I'll never lose this weight...") and I am going to begin telling myself:

My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and I am treating it with respect. I am making good food choices and developing exercise habits that will restore my health and vitality. I am learning moderation and self control through Christ. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I am the righteousness of God in Christ. There is therefore now no condemnation for me because I am in Christ. I am living an abundant life in Christ. I have everthing I need. God is my strength, not food. The word of God is the most important food for my life.

John 6:63 The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.

Pr0verbs 13:2-4 From the fruit of his lips a man enjoys good things, but the unfaithful have a craving for violence. He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.

Proverbs 4:
1 Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
2 I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.
3 When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of my mother,
4 he taught me and said, "Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them.
6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.
7 Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.
8 Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you.
9 She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor."
10 Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.
11 I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.
12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble.
13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.
14 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men.
15 Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way.
16 For they cannot sleep till they do evil; they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall.
17 They eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.
18 The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
19 But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.
20 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
24 Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.
27 Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

Weighing

A little over 40 days ago, I decided that I would stay off the scales for 40 days. I wanted to get my focus off of the numbers. Unfortunately, as soon as I made that decision, I began to eat out of control. I gave in to all kinds of cravings for buttery and sugary foods. I quit keeping my food log too.

After a week or two of not weighing, but eating far worse than I had been, I was worried that I might have gained five or ten pounds. I didn't want to weigh, but I thought I needed the shock of knowing if I had gained a lot. So, I asked my husband to look at the scales while I stepped on with my eyes closed. It was a silly plan...

I only wanted him to tell me if I had gained, and if the gain was less than 5 pounds, less than 10 pounds, and so on. I closed my eyes and stepped on the scale. Apparently, I had not explained myself well, because he told me exactly what I had gained. Men! They just aren't adept at aiding and abetting our foolishness!

That wasn't the only time I got on the scale during the fourty days, but I did drastically reduce the frequency of my weighing. The 40 days are up and I gained four pounds. So, what have I learned? I'm still searching for that "moderation" and "balance" in my eating and my weighing. I haven't found it yet, but I'm not giving up. Maybe I'll do something crazy like weigh once a week and start keeping my food log again...

Struggling

I have another blog called "Commit your way to the Lord". I hesitate to post too often in that blog about my weight struggles since many people cannot relate. I haven't posted there in quite a few days because I've been struggling.

This blog is mostly for me (and you, if you choose to read it), just to chronicle my journey to a healthier body. I want to feel free to post about my struggles without being judged.

I would like to think that someday I will weigh about 120 pounds and will be looking back and pulling posts together for a book about my weight loss of 162 pounds (yes, add them together and you will have my highest weight that I know of...).

Above is a "before picture" and an "on the way" picture. I have lost approximately 55 pounds at this point. I hope to update this every few months with a new picture.

I recently decided not to weigh for 40 days (see June 26th post in my other blog). About as soon as I decided that, I started eating out of control. Yesterday I finally had a good day again.

I think part of my problem was that I was trying to be too strict in my food choices. For example, I wasn't including any fat other than what is in nuts, olives, and avocados. Maybe that is enough, but my biggest craving was for a grilled cheese sandwich, made my husband's way - with bread soaked in butter! I gave in to that craving (and several others) two nights in a row.

Besides being too strict, I wasn't eating enough volume of food. By evening, I'd feel like a ravenous wolf and eat way too much of all the wrong kinds of food. Another reason I'm pretty sure I wasn't eating enough volume was that my digestive system wasn't working well.

Learning moderation that is sustainable for the long term is essential. I might be able to lose weight through extreme rigid diets, but I certainly wouldn't keep it off. Actually, I am not disciplined enough to lose it that way either - as the last few days showed!

When I decided not to weigh, I was trying to take my focus off of the numbers and focus on healthy choices. But then I thought about how great it would be to step on the scales in 40 days and be shocked at how MUCH I had lost. Again, the focus was on the numbers. Of course it backfired, because I tried to limit myself too much and ended up doing exactly the opposite. Then I worried about how much I gained in those couple of days, but I can't find out because I'm not weighing!!

If you have a weight problem, you know all about the many ways we sabotage our own efforts. I am determined to learn from my mistakes and move on: I'll be patient with myself. I'll ask God for forgiveness of my mistakes and move on. I'll be ok with the time frame, whatever it is. I will learn moderation and self discipline, and learn to be ok with moving in the right direction over the long haul. I will find a balance that I can sustain.

There are plenty of books and programs to help. I do get some inspiration through reading others stories of success. But I know that the only book I really need is the Bible. By increasing my knowledge of God, the focus is off of me and my weight and on to the nature of God and His purpose for my life. I will find my comfort in God and live joyously. The only bread I need is the "bread of life".

Psalm 63: 3-5 Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

John 6:25-40 When they found him on the other side of the lake, they asked him, "Rabbi, when did you get here?" Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval." Then they asked him, What must we do to do the works God requires?" Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent." So they asked him, "What miraculous sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do? Our forefathers ate the manna in the desert; as it is written: 'He gave them bread from heaven to eat." Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world." "Sir," they said, "from now on give us this bread." Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."