I have another blog called "Commit your way to the Lord". I hesitate to post too often in that blog about my weight struggles since many people cannot relate. I haven't posted there in quite a few days because I've been struggling.
This blog is mostly for me (and you, if you choose to read it), just to chronicle my journey to a healthier body. I want to feel free to post about my struggles without being judged.
I would like to think that someday I will weigh about 120 pounds and will be looking back and pulling posts together for a book about my weight loss of 162 pounds (yes, add them together and you will have my highest weight that I know of...).
Above is a "before picture" and an "on the way" picture. I have lost approximately 55 pounds at this point. I hope to update this every few months with a new picture.
I recently decided not to weigh for 40 days (see June 26th post in my other blog). About as soon as I decided that, I started eating out of control. Yesterday I finally had a good day again.
I think part of my problem was that I was trying to be too strict in my food choices. For example, I wasn't including any fat other than what is in nuts, olives, and avocados. Maybe that is enough, but my biggest craving was for a grilled cheese sandwich, made my husband's way - with bread soaked in butter! I gave in to that craving (and several others) two nights in a row.
Besides being too strict, I wasn't eating enough volume of food. By evening, I'd feel like a ravenous wolf and eat way too much of all the wrong kinds of food. Another reason I'm pretty sure I wasn't eating enough volume was that my digestive system wasn't working well.
Learning moderation that is sustainable for the long term is essential. I might be able to lose weight through extreme rigid diets, but I certainly wouldn't keep it off. Actually, I am not disciplined enough to lose it that way either - as the last few days showed!
When I decided not to weigh, I was trying to take my focus off of the numbers and focus on healthy choices. But then I thought about how great it would be to step on the scales in 40 days and be shocked at how MUCH I had lost. Again, the focus was on the numbers. Of course it backfired, because I tried to limit myself too much and ended up doing exactly the opposite. Then I worried about how much I gained in those couple of days, but I can't find out because I'm not weighing!!
If you have a weight problem, you know all about the many ways we sabotage our own efforts. I am determined to learn from my mistakes and move on: I'll be patient with myself. I'll ask God for forgiveness of my mistakes and move on. I'll be ok with the time frame, whatever it is. I will learn moderation and self discipline, and learn to be ok with moving in the right direction over the long haul. I will find a balance that I can sustain.
There are plenty of books and programs to help. I do get some inspiration through reading others stories of success. But I know that the only book I really need is the Bible. By increasing my knowledge of God, the focus is off of me and my weight and on to the nature of God and His purpose for my life. I will find my comfort in God and live joyously. The only bread I need is the "bread of life".
Psalm 63: 3-5 Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
John 6:25-40 When they found him on the other side of the lake, they asked him, "Rabbi, when did you get here?" Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, you are looking for me, not because you saw miraculous signs but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval." Then they asked him, What must we do to do the works God requires?" Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent." So they asked him, "What miraculous sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do? Our forefathers ate the manna in the desert; as it is written: 'He gave them bread from heaven to eat." Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world." "Sir," they said, "from now on give us this bread." Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."
